"Hi my name is Marion. I go to Cornell University"

WARNING: My brain is pretty scattered but then again we never really make sense when we think out loud.

For the past year or two it never seemed to be apparent what the hype was all about. Perhaps, it was because going to an ivy league seemed so unattainable. I still recall that my fresh- out- of- high school self was seemingly disappointed in the end results of the college process. Something that I had been striving and wrestled with for so long was the battle for that name-- that "(Insert IVY League/ prestigious maybe even elitist private university name here ) " is the school that I have proven myself worthy of. The academic institution that would encompass my entire intellect and all that I have built myself up to be for the sake of one thing- my high horse of which I've come to despise , my pride.
So in my state of utter disappointment at saying, "I go to Binghamton University" which usually follows with, "its a State university in upstate New York," I'd cringe and hate it. Little did I know my world would be entirely changed there. It became a place that I grew to love beyond words. A place where I had grown ten-fold if not more. Though the campus was far from the beauties of the gothics you picture when you hear "university," it was and is, a place of sanctuary. I found my Peace there. I found family and above of all, I found Love. I found deep, heart wrenching, painfully learned, true, soul satisfying Love. As corny as it may seem, It was Him. My story with Jesus is ugly, but beautiful, sad, but joyous, broken, but perfect. There is not a doubt in my mind that I was destined to have gone to Binghamton and to meet my amazing Love. But I did not really see this until I left Binghamton and came to Cornell University.

Though Binghamton may have shown me the very essence of my heart and all the insecurities of what it means to be a fallen being, I never appreciated it until I was brought to this place: the university of my dreams. I cant help but feel almost ashamed that I had not wanted more for myself. A university with an esteemed name, THATS IT?! Thats all i wanted? How foolish of me. After letting go of my dreams, embracing Binghamton and experiencing some of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with, I'm here. I go to Cornell University and I have no idea how to feel. One semester has gone and as I look back I cant help but feel like this is how life will be like. Our deepest desires will not be obtained until He thinks we're ready. It's funny that it was when I finally let go and did not care about the pride in the name of a university that it was given back to me-- but this time, in the form of reality. I go to Cornell University and my time here has been amazing. I ended my semester with grades that I normally would not think would suffice for "good" but nonetheless, I am LEARNING so much. For the first time in my life I feel like I am engaged and learning in a setting among truly extraordinary people. Last semester, one of my professors ended the class with this: "There is hope but also much to be changed. Now go change the world." Though we're told that as students, "we are the future," that "we're the ones that are going to change the world," never have I truly felt like this was true. Finishing up my first semester at one of the top universities in the world, I couldn't help but feel like this was what He had destined for me. So many times in my life I've been encouraged that I would be amazing but never have I truly believed it until I came here. So what can I say about receiving an Ivy League education or let alone, any form of upper level education? It truly is a privilege and a gift from God. It should not and can not be taken for granted. I wouldn't be here today without my Love who I had come to know during my time at Binghamton, and have grown to love at Cornell. I would not be at such an amazing institution if not for the path that He had planned for me because I simply would not have understood the honor of being a part of what some have called the "best and the brightest".
"With great powers comes great responsibilities" - an awesome quotation that seems more than fitting when our dreams have finally been handed to us.

Next Goal: Medical School--I am glad to say that it is no longer the idol that it had once been in my life. Though it still consumes my worries, I have a much bigger dream and that is, to be a part of His amazing love for this world of which we are called to change.

P.S. I am too lazy to properly punctuate or fix grammatical errors. Sorry folks.

- mare

Ivy league

to be continued.... hahahahha suckers jk there's much i would like to say as the semester comes to an end. itll be good i promise =]

Big braja

Away message for tictac2k: its enough to just hear it

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:29 PM): i'm proud of you

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:32 PM): and you are appreciated

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:36 PM): did you hear it?

sometimes big brothers are surprising =]

Idol worship

When you're walking to class or taking some time to just chill, who or what are you usually thinking about?
When you find yourself at peace, what's bringing you comfort?
When you feel like you've succeeded who do you have to thank for it?
When you're the most upset, who or what is causing it?
When you're frustrated or angry, who or what is the source?
When you give up time to make sure it is satisfied, what exactly are you satisfying?
When you find yourself talking mostly about it to other people, what exactly are you talking about?
When you find your biggest worries pertain to it, what are you worrying about?
What is your idol?

Mine is premed.

I have a confession to make

Truth is...i think about Binghamton everyday
Like a lover I cant let go of
It kills me that as much as I want to, I cant go back
And I miss everything about it
While it may be beautiful here
I just cant seem to be able to call it home.
I'm not looking for comfort or we-miss-you-too's
and I AM experiencing God here.. everyday actually..
but I miss bing and all its imperfections








1hour later...skyping with 14 people = mad awkward on my side but soo awesome to see the bing kids.. thanks for those little doses of love God

One Race

Today I went to an oncampus church that was kinda awesome. The pastor spoke about how when we run the Christian Race we have to remember the prize, the reason why we run, the reward and how it surpasses all things. He used premed as an example hahaha how fitting. My struggle with control over my grades has often consumed alot of my life but coming here it seems to be very common. So common that I've already heard two sermons relevant to being a student and where God should be in our academic life. I guess its these times when I'm finally reassured of why God sent me here. So i will run this race and keep my eye on the amazing prize and I encourage those of you who still read this to do the same. Remember why it is you've chosen this life and who it is you are running for. If you cant remember then ask Him to remind you. God bless and fight the Good fight.

Is it worth it?

So I've been at Ithaca for a little over two weeks. I have to say its been a very interesting experience thus far. Though there are many nights I'm convinced that I belong here, there are other times when I'm overwhelmed with a sense of uncertainty. I make numerous calls a day to my family at home because I have no one else to call. I sit around in my air-conditioned single thinking "what can I look forward to tonight?". Then there are those days where I walk around and the scenery is absolutely beautiful- gothic buildings, bell tower, huge quads with people studying on the grass or playing frisbee. This campus is filled with the spirit of minds wanting to learn, to be involved, to make a difference and enjoy this wonderful opportunity and those yet to come. Sometimes I really think to myself, man this is what a university is supposed to be like but then I think of my beautiful Binghamton family and cant help but feel like Cornell is missing something. Perhaps a bit of love or maybe even genuineity? As soon as you enter the campus you can feel the liveliness and the huge sense of pride among the student body. Everyone wears their Cornell gear like its nothing: hoodies, sweatpants, tshirts, bags, you name it they wear it. I think it's going to take me awhile before I identify myself as a Cornell student but for now I can honestly say that though I've questioned my decision, I am certain that God had big plans for me here and that's something I have to learn to wholeheartedly accept. It's going to be a hard journey and it's already been super lonely, but if it's for Him it is worth it. Thank you Binghamton for teaching me so much. I couldn't have done it without you.

I love you guys.
Marion



I think im gonna start going by mare again since there wont be any confusion with meir's awesome name. I'm going back to my crazy academically intense high school days starting with the return of my nickname. -__-