She came and left

its so surreal seeing her here, telling her about the troubles of my heart when in actuality all i really wanted to say was- i miss you and its been hard without you. Pouring out my love is hard when I dont even have some for myself but pastor Kyle is right--other people matter more than me. She was a breathe of fresh air and a reminder of the person that every girl wishes to be including herself. Today it felt a little different-- like our burdens were shared and that my heart had been hurt and broken the way hers had been except she was smarter about it -__-. We are sisters in a world of distance. Its like our force fields collide and merge as we protect ourselves from the pains of life. I always trail behind her but at least Im there hoping that i could just have her force field envelope mine. It's like she's always the one to say, "its going to be ok" without ever actually saying it. Broken into a million pieces but maybe one day ill be able to use my half fixed self and be a fighting force for others. until then- i need to learn this mystery that is grace. I love because He loved me - something that should make all the sense in the world but is somehow a complete mystery. I love and i always will.