Ivy league

to be continued.... hahahahha suckers jk there's much i would like to say as the semester comes to an end. itll be good i promise =]

Big braja

Away message for tictac2k: its enough to just hear it

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:29 PM): i'm proud of you

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:32 PM): and you are appreciated

PinnacIe Chronos (6:44:36 PM): did you hear it?

sometimes big brothers are surprising =]

Idol worship

When you're walking to class or taking some time to just chill, who or what are you usually thinking about?
When you find yourself at peace, what's bringing you comfort?
When you feel like you've succeeded who do you have to thank for it?
When you're the most upset, who or what is causing it?
When you're frustrated or angry, who or what is the source?
When you give up time to make sure it is satisfied, what exactly are you satisfying?
When you find yourself talking mostly about it to other people, what exactly are you talking about?
When you find your biggest worries pertain to it, what are you worrying about?
What is your idol?

Mine is premed.

I have a confession to make

Truth is...i think about Binghamton everyday
Like a lover I cant let go of
It kills me that as much as I want to, I cant go back
And I miss everything about it
While it may be beautiful here
I just cant seem to be able to call it home.
I'm not looking for comfort or we-miss-you-too's
and I AM experiencing God here.. everyday actually..
but I miss bing and all its imperfections








1hour later...skyping with 14 people = mad awkward on my side but soo awesome to see the bing kids.. thanks for those little doses of love God

One Race

Today I went to an oncampus church that was kinda awesome. The pastor spoke about how when we run the Christian Race we have to remember the prize, the reason why we run, the reward and how it surpasses all things. He used premed as an example hahaha how fitting. My struggle with control over my grades has often consumed alot of my life but coming here it seems to be very common. So common that I've already heard two sermons relevant to being a student and where God should be in our academic life. I guess its these times when I'm finally reassured of why God sent me here. So i will run this race and keep my eye on the amazing prize and I encourage those of you who still read this to do the same. Remember why it is you've chosen this life and who it is you are running for. If you cant remember then ask Him to remind you. God bless and fight the Good fight.

Is it worth it?

So I've been at Ithaca for a little over two weeks. I have to say its been a very interesting experience thus far. Though there are many nights I'm convinced that I belong here, there are other times when I'm overwhelmed with a sense of uncertainty. I make numerous calls a day to my family at home because I have no one else to call. I sit around in my air-conditioned single thinking "what can I look forward to tonight?". Then there are those days where I walk around and the scenery is absolutely beautiful- gothic buildings, bell tower, huge quads with people studying on the grass or playing frisbee. This campus is filled with the spirit of minds wanting to learn, to be involved, to make a difference and enjoy this wonderful opportunity and those yet to come. Sometimes I really think to myself, man this is what a university is supposed to be like but then I think of my beautiful Binghamton family and cant help but feel like Cornell is missing something. Perhaps a bit of love or maybe even genuineity? As soon as you enter the campus you can feel the liveliness and the huge sense of pride among the student body. Everyone wears their Cornell gear like its nothing: hoodies, sweatpants, tshirts, bags, you name it they wear it. I think it's going to take me awhile before I identify myself as a Cornell student but for now I can honestly say that though I've questioned my decision, I am certain that God had big plans for me here and that's something I have to learn to wholeheartedly accept. It's going to be a hard journey and it's already been super lonely, but if it's for Him it is worth it. Thank you Binghamton for teaching me so much. I couldn't have done it without you.

I love you guys.
Marion



I think im gonna start going by mare again since there wont be any confusion with meir's awesome name. I'm going back to my crazy academically intense high school days starting with the return of my nickname. -__-

My dad, a Christian?

So most of you probably know this but I wasn't raised in a Christian family actually maybe at one point for like a couple of months but my mom is a religion hopper. While it may be tough its also super awesome seeing the way God works. I've made it known that I believe in this dude named Jesus and they respect that so that's good. My brother asks questions a lot which mostly ends up turning into an argument and sometimes he even uses it against me. Either way its always a humbling experience and a great reminder of how i SHOULD be living my life. But anyway back to my dad..so today I came to the office to eat my lunch and kinda just lounged around and went online. As i browsed through people's facebook, aim profiles, blogs and whatnot I started thinking about my own summer schedule and started thinking man...what the heck am i doing this for again.. oh yeah...for "the experience" aka med school application fluff..and then out of nowhere i saw some statistics for acceptances and before you know it im freakin out about not getting in -__- so my dad looks at me and says "Hey, who you live life for? Your God right? So dont worry..you just try your best and let Him take care of it." I couldnt help but smile at my dad's semi-broken english comment and say "yeah, your right dad." Pretty cool huh? Sounded like a typical Christian answer.. so is my dad a Christian? One day.

Now Showing

Hello all so i guess ive given in...this is my blogspot debut. I've actually had this blog for awhile but i had orginially used it as a way to journal instead of writing it all...personally typing inspires alot more creativity because it just looks neater and its so much faster...hahahah anyway but i feel like there isnt much to hide from you all and if i did i probably just wouldnt blog it. but anyway just to warn you all im pretty emo hahah ok bye

Kelly Clarkson - Irvine..i love kelly

Are you there?
Are you watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
They say you feel what I do
They say you’re here every moment
Will you stay?
Stay ‘till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you’re busy, I know I’m just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

Why is it so hard?
Why can’t you just take me?
I don’t have much to go
Before I fade completely

Can you feel how cold I am?
Do you cry as I do?
Are you lonely up there all by yourself?
Like I have felt all my life
The only one to save mine

How are you so strong?
What’s it like to feel so free?
Your heart is really something
Your love, a complete mystery to me

Are you there watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
Do you cry, do you cry with me?
Cry with me tonight

Are you there?
Are you watching me?






almost a year now..i have to admit... its still so hard

She came and left

its so surreal seeing her here, telling her about the troubles of my heart when in actuality all i really wanted to say was- i miss you and its been hard without you. Pouring out my love is hard when I dont even have some for myself but pastor Kyle is right--other people matter more than me. She was a breathe of fresh air and a reminder of the person that every girl wishes to be including herself. Today it felt a little different-- like our burdens were shared and that my heart had been hurt and broken the way hers had been except she was smarter about it -__-. We are sisters in a world of distance. Its like our force fields collide and merge as we protect ourselves from the pains of life. I always trail behind her but at least Im there hoping that i could just have her force field envelope mine. It's like she's always the one to say, "its going to be ok" without ever actually saying it. Broken into a million pieces but maybe one day ill be able to use my half fixed self and be a fighting force for others. until then- i need to learn this mystery that is grace. I love because He loved me - something that should make all the sense in the world but is somehow a complete mystery. I love and i always will.

Brother Hsueh

tictac2k (7:19:03 PM): i was thinking about when we were kids and i my first memory of you was when i came back from taiwan and you were showing me those like rulers that snap around your wrist

tictac2k (7:19:27 PM): and i remember...NOT remembering you cause i was kinda shy

tictac2k (7:19:38 PM): cause i was in taiwan for so long

tictac2k (7:20:02 PM): ok i know thats random and u probably dont care

PinnacIe Chronos (7:20:09 PM): ic

PinnacIe Chronos (7:20:15 PM): good story

PinnacIe Chronos (7:20:19 PM): not much has changed

PinnacIe Chronos (7:20:24 PM): i still show you the coolest stuff

PinnacIe Chronos (7:20:29 PM): except you have a better haircut

let it go

So i thought of our conversation and i think its time i let go of my crazy thoughts. there are times when i want to believe certain things aand im so sure of it..but its time i come to grips with reality and remind myself that i am a freakin stubborn and self righteous sinner. I am not as open or loving as i used to be..i am slowly becoming the person that i did NOT want to become. As i live this life I want to find my peace again. find my place where i can love again. Sad thing is i know where it starts and i know how but i just dont do it. i dunno if its cause im scared but its gonna happen soon i can feel it...it all depends on if i want it BAD ENOUGH.

I am so unworthy of it. The fact that i know he and I will be destined to be together (by a Perfect Matchmaker) gives me peace...genuine peace and at the same time a sense of unworthiness. I am going to be so lucky. As long as i am reminded of this i will be ok =]

acapella

after thinking about joining koinonia for the past 4 semesters here at binghamton..my questions on this matter have finally been answered..it is not for me simply because of the fact that i didnt make it. hahahaha. theres that whole deal about it not being God's will and I have to respect that but i cant help but feel somewhat discouraged. After being pretty much asked to try out and lots of persuasion i was still rejected -__- I must say its somewhat of a hurt to my pride but at the same time i know its for the better and besides the chances of me making it in this physical condition were pretty much slim to none. Rejection is always uneasy. Its ok considering i didnt have much time for it anyway but at the same time it would have been nice to have succeeded at something. Seems like everything i do lately has not been rewarded not that i really care about the rewards its just that it gets discouraging when you have not achieved anything for months. My last victory was on an orgo exam and that was in november. Guess its notable but in my current emotional condition it appears that everything matters exponentially and something so little as not being able to perform a procedure in a laboratory experiment takes a huge toll on my heart. My courage is withering as i live out everyday. Coming out of my comfort zone seems to be something that almost seems useless when you keep failing. I must say in recent months my pride has been shot so badly but maybe thats the point of all this... humility. im pretty sure im damn broken but humble? perhaps not yet..all i know is it hurts like hell

Back to the point---so ive been rejected from koinonia and tonics looks like im gonna call it quits with singing at least for awhile.