let it go

So i thought of our conversation and i think its time i let go of my crazy thoughts. there are times when i want to believe certain things aand im so sure of it..but its time i come to grips with reality and remind myself that i am a freakin stubborn and self righteous sinner. I am not as open or loving as i used to be..i am slowly becoming the person that i did NOT want to become. As i live this life I want to find my peace again. find my place where i can love again. Sad thing is i know where it starts and i know how but i just dont do it. i dunno if its cause im scared but its gonna happen soon i can feel it...it all depends on if i want it BAD ENOUGH.

I am so unworthy of it. The fact that i know he and I will be destined to be together (by a Perfect Matchmaker) gives me peace...genuine peace and at the same time a sense of unworthiness. I am going to be so lucky. As long as i am reminded of this i will be ok =]