after thinking about joining koinonia for the past 4 semesters here at binghamton..my questions on this matter have finally been answered..it is not for me simply because of the fact that i didnt make it. hahahaha. theres that whole deal about it not being God's will and I have to respect that but i cant help but feel somewhat discouraged. After being pretty much asked to try out and lots of persuasion i was still rejected -__- I must say its somewhat of a hurt to my pride but at the same time i know its for the better and besides the chances of me making it in this physical condition were pretty much slim to none. Rejection is always uneasy. Its ok considering i didnt have much time for it anyway but at the same time it would have been nice to have succeeded at something. Seems like everything i do lately has not been rewarded not that i really care about the rewards its just that it gets discouraging when you have not achieved anything for months. My last victory was on an orgo exam and that was in november. Guess its notable but in my current emotional condition it appears that everything matters exponentially and something so little as not being able to perform a procedure in a laboratory experiment takes a huge toll on my heart. My courage is withering as i live out everyday. Coming out of my comfort zone seems to be something that almost seems useless when you keep failing. I must say in recent months my pride has been shot so badly but maybe thats the point of all this... humility. im pretty sure im damn broken but humble? perhaps not yet..all i know is it hurts like hell
Back to the point---so ive been rejected from koinonia and tonics looks like im gonna call it quits with singing at least for awhile.
