take it day by day

God is taking me in so many directions. After taking the summer to do some thinking (and being physically active!!) I've come to the conclusion that I seldom ENJOY things. God's been teaching me this all summer and yet I still have trouble finding joy in all the things He's blessed me with. It's been a good summer- full of heartache, growth, change, fun, learning and love. He has slowly been maturing my faith and bringing me to a deeper level of intimacy with Him. Being home is always hard but as I face the brokenness I am constantly reminded of how much I need Him. Though it seems like I am the worst me when I'm at home, faith and the Cross becomes so much more real. When I fail as a friend, a daughter, and a sister His perfect love is that much more beautiful. While these lessons are heavy on the heart, I find hope in knowing that He is the one who loves and adores me-- that I can wake up tomorrow and try again. There is deep joy in my heart from knowing that He delights in me and wants to share His beauty with me and through me. While it often appears that I am doing everything but the latter, I find peace in knowing that it doesn't change the fact that that is still what He desires--for me to share His holiness.

My professor once discussed the culture of overachieving college students (cornell kids in particular hahaha) who have always planned out their whole lives and have taken every means necessary to prepare and reach their goals. This rang so TRUE for so many of us in that lecture hall and I am sure it speaks much of our generation. For a long time that's how I've always known to live my life--set a goal and reach it. But over this summer I've come to realize that maybe its really not about the goals but the journey. I know it seems really simplistic and almost common knowledge but I've just been programmed to ACHIEVE, EXCEL, ACHIEVE SOME MORE. It took a 5 mile run and a whole lot of failing, frustration, and good friends to realize that FAITH means so much more than that. God has called us not to be doctors, lawyers, or some form of high status professional, but to simply live everyday as His children. Goals are awesome in that they provide a sense of direction but it's the journey that is just as important, if not more. With that in mind, I am re-energized and just about ready for whats to come in my last year of college as I learn to ENJOY Him and all the blessings He's given me.